L'shana haba'ah b'Yerushalayim!

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

BlogElul 27, 28, 29: Bless, Give, Return


Elul is over. I was blessed to begin Tishrei with a wonderful community, meaningful prayer, and beautiful music.

I hope that I gave as much as I received during this season of reflection and renewal.

I don't yet feel a return to regularly scheduled programming -- there are still a few more weeks of holidays to go...

Friday, September 11, 2015

BlogElul 26: Create


In order to engage young Jewish professionals, it has become increasingly popular to create new Jewish rituals that are engaging and relevant to their lives.

On Wednesday night, Congregation Sinai's Sinai and the City program for young professionals will be meeting at a bar along the Milwaukee River for Sin Before You Atone: A New Approach to Tashlich.

Instead of aimlessly throwing bread into the water, we'll be tossing different types of cereal -- each of which represents a different sin or wrongdoing.

For example:
For telling bad jokes: Corn Pops
For talking too much or being careless with words: Alpha-bits
For abusive behavior: Honey Smacks

Each participant will create a cocktail of the different sins that are most relevant to his/her life. These sins will be cast into the Milwaukee River so that we can begin the new year with a heightened awareness of the things that held us back in the past year.

May we create ways to ensure that our actions in 5776 will be for a blessing.

Thursday, September 10, 2015

BlogElul 22, 23, 24, 25: End, Begin, Hope, Intend


We are near the end of the beginning. I have high hopes that 5776 will be a great year. I intend to make it so.

That's all I have for now, and I'm okay with that.

Sunday, September 6, 2015

BlogElul 21: Love



The story is told that a Roman matron once asked Rabbi Yosi: "How has your God been occupying his time after the creation of the world?"
"God has been busy pairing couples," answered the Rabbi.
She was astonished. "Is that God's trade? Even I can do that job. As many man-servants and maid-servants as I have, I can pair."
"Perhaps it is a simple matter in your eyes," replied the Rabbi. "For God, it is as intricate as the Splitting of the Sea."
She promptly placed one thousand man-servants opposite one thousand maidservants and declared, "He will marry her, she will marry him," and so on.
The next morning, two thousand servants came to her door, beaten and bruised, complaining, "I do not want her, I do not want him!"
She sent for Rabbi Yosi, and conceded: "Rabbi, your Torah is true."

Friday, September 4, 2015

BlogElul 20: Dare



Flirty dare:
Audra McDonald sings "I Double Dare You" by Louis Armstrong 

Plaintive dare:
"By My Side" from Godspell
(It may be based on the New Testament, but the themes are universal)

Let me skip the road with you
I can dare myself
I can dare myself
I'll put a pebble in my shoe
And watch me walk (watch me walk)
I can walk and walk!
(I can walk!)

I shall call the pebble Dare
I shall call the pebble Dare
We will talk, we will talk together
We will talk (chorus) about walking
Dare shall be carried
And when we both have had enough
I will take him from my shoe, singing:
"Meet your new road!" 



BlogElul 19: Judge



Wednesday, September 2, 2015

BlogElul 18: Ask


In Avinu Malkeinu, we ask for God'a compassionate care:

Our Father, our King! Send a complete healing to the sick among Your people!
Our Father, our King! Remove from us plague, sword, famine, and destruction!
Our Father, our King! Remember that we are but dust and ashes!
Our Father, our King! Speedily bring us salvation!

In many communities, this prayer is not recited when the High Holy Days fall on Shabbat. This is because we do not recite petitionary prayers on Shabbat. God rested on the seventh day, and even God deserves a day off.

Similarly, we do not offer petitionary prayers during the Amidah on Shabbat or on the High Holy Days. Instead, we focus on Kedushat Hayom -- the holiness of the day. On Rosh Hashanah, the themes of holiness of the day focus on God's sovereignty. God is sovereign of the world, who sanctifies Israel and the Day of Remembrance.

In other words, instead of directly asking God for forgiveness, we praise God in the hopes that he will grant us forgiveness.

In turn, our job is to ask ourselves and those we've wronged for forgiveness and compassion.

BlogElul 17: Awaken


Over the summer, a group of rabbis, cantors, educators, and friends serving on faculty at OSRUI were eating dinner at a lakeside restaurant in central Wisconsin.

A Mumford and Sons song came on the radio: Awake My Soul.

One of the most popular settings for a morning prayer at camp is taking this melody and setting it to the text "Elohai Neshama" -- the soul you have given me.

In our liturgy, we thank God every morning for giving us pure souls -- and we ask that our souls be awakened.

The Mumford and Sons song has been used in our Tefillah as device for helping our youth make contemporary connections with prayer.

For us adults, sitting outside and watching the beautiful setting sun, we couldn't hear the original lyrics without thinking about the connection with Elohai Neshama.

Monday, August 31, 2015

BlogElul 16: Pray



Purchased last week on the streets of New York City:



BlogElul 15: Change



This is the opposite of what happens during the High Holy Days. We may not have the power to change the past, but we can make change in the future -- through repentance, prayer, and charity. 






Sunday, August 30, 2015

BlogElul 14: Learn


TLC is home to some of the trashiest and most entertaining shows on TV. From "Cake Boss" to "19 Kids and Counting" to "Say Yes to the Dress," it's easy to spend many mindless hours on the couch binge watching and dulling brain cells (in a good way, of course).

How ironic -- considering that TLC stands for "The Learning Channel."

Technically speaking, each episode does have a take home moral. A recent episode of "Say Yes to the Dress" ended with a very important teaching: If you have patience and are willing to keep all of your options open, then you will find the dress of your dreams.

Yes, this is the depth of "learning" that is happening on TLC.

Perhaps a better name for TLC would be "The Lounging Channel."

To be fair, although  TLC was originally focused on educational content -- hence the abbreviation TLC -- the network itself admits that its focus nowadays is primarily towards reality series involving lifestyles, personal stories, and family life.

Many of these stories are focused on individuals who have something unusual about them. "Little People, Big World" and all of its spin offs are focused on a family where several members have been diagnosed with dwarfism. "My Giant Life" is on the opposite end of the spectrum, focusing on women who are taller than 6'6.

Then there's"My Big Fat Fabulous Life," which is about a 380-pound woman's desire to lose weight.

If her life really was fabulous, would she still want to make such a radical lifestyle change and lose the weight?

Would the show have the same entertainment value of it was simply called "My Fabulous Life"?

(Note that I have never actually seen the show.)

One might argue that these shows are a way to bring the struggles of the people facing these obstacles into the mainstream.

My issue is that they draw attention to people in a way that highlights their abnormalities. I would much rather see these types of characters integrated into network television series. "Mike and Molly" is a start, and Peter Dinklage has won an Emmy and a Golden Globe for his portrayal of a dwarf on "Game of Thrones." But even though "Game of Thrones" doesn't explicitly separate little people from the mainstream the way "Little People, Big World" does, it is still fantasy. Differences are more widely accepted in a fantasy world than it is in reality.

One of TLC's newest series is called "Answered Prayers." The show features real-life stories of people in potentially life-threatening situations who experience divine intervention. The creators of the series hope that it will inspire a "prayer revival."

The show has featured an Indiana family that survived a Category 5 tornado, a Detroit pastor who nearly lost his life after being stabbed 37 times, and a family that survived their car being plunged deep into an icy river. The latter was made all the more miraculous because a trained navy diver was driving in the car behind him and helped with the rescue effort.

Call me cynical, but all I could think about while watching it was how many people end up in similarly frightening situations without making it out alive.

I thought of all of the people who we say Mi Shebairach for who are suffering from terminal illness. We continue to pray for them regardless, but we don't necessarily pray for a miracle. We pray for comfort, we pray for emotional healing, we pray for less pain.

When I was doing Clinical Pastoral Education, I had a patient who asked me if I could pray for a miracle. I told her that I could pray for a miracle, but that my greatest hope was for her to find inner strength, comfort, and peace that would carry her even if a miracle doesn't happen. We can only pray for miracles after we consider the alternatives and understand the possibilities. Otherwise, we are just setting ourselves up for disappointment. But if the small possibility of a miracle can carry us one more day, so be it -- just as long as it doesn't get in the way of reality.

And there you have it -- deep thoughts on reality television. Maybe there is some learning to be had from TLC after all.


Friday, August 28, 2015

BlogElul 13: Remember


When I was studying at The Boston Conservatory, we did an outreach concert for the Alzheimer's unit at a local nursing home.

One of the tenors sang "Try to Remember" from The Fantasticks.

When he started to sing, the rest of us murmured that perhaps the song -- beautiful as it is -- was a poor choice for this particular venue: 

Try to remember the kind of September
When life was slow and oh, so mellow.Try to remember the kind of SeptemberWhen grass was green and grain was yellow.Try to remember the kind of SeptemberWhen you were a tender and callow fellow.Try to remember, and if you remember,Then follow.

Try to remember when life was so tender
When no one wept except the willow.
Try to remember when life was so tender
When dreams were kept beside your pillow.
Try to remember when life was so tender
When love was an ember about to billow.
Try to remember and if you remember
then follow.

Deep in December it's nice to remember
Although you know the snow will follow.
Deep in December it's nice to remember
Without a hurt the heart will hollow.
Deep in December
it's nice to remember
The fire of September that made you mellow.
Deep in December our hearts should remember and follow.


The song speaks to exactly who the people in the audience used to be -- the part of their lives that they remember now that Alzheimer's has taken away their ability to acquire new memories. The oldest memories are the last to go, and a song like this has the ability to bring such memories to the forefront.

The looks on the faces of the residents were wistful; some were filled with tears.

The song may have been a poor programming choice in theory, but in practice it succeeded in doing just what good art is supposed to do: it changed the status quo and built connections. 


BlogElul 12: Forgive


Forgive me for falling behind on posting.

I am only human.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

BlogElul 11: Trust





I won't hold back anything
And I'll walk a way a fool or a king
Some love is just a lie of the mind
It's make believe until its only a matter of time
And some might have learned to adjust
But then it never was a matter of trust.
-Billy Joel, "A Matter of Trust"



Dan quoted these lyrics to me in anticipation of our first date: A Billy Joel Concert.

We met for 10 minutes at a theater. We then spoke for hours on the phone.

Somehow I knew that I needed to fly to New York to see him again.
Somehow he knew that it was worth pursuing a relationship with a girl in Milwaukee, even though there are hundreds of Jewish girls in New York.

We both felt the sparks in the theater, so we took the risk. We trusted our instincts that there was something special between us. 

In the end, he's walking away a king (not a fool) -- and I'm his queen.

We got engaged Saturday night, in exactly the same way we met: During intermission at A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder.

"Lauren, remember how we saw this show a year ago and that I ruined the second act for you?" he asked.

"Well, you didn't exactly ruin the second act -- you made it more exciting!" I responded.

Then he got down on one knee. 

"Lauren, will you marry me?"

I answered yes, of course.

I wasn't able to concentrate during the second act -- again!! But it was worth it, of course.

Interestingly enough, no one in the theater noticed the proposal. They were all wrapped up in their own business. We didn't mind -- this way, we were able to celebrate the moment more intimately. 

My friend Whitney, who saw the show with me when I first met Dan, was there too. Dan bought three tickets, the exact three seats we sat in when our whirlwind romance began.

Whitney captured the moment in some fantastic photos:



I should mention that many of the important steps in our relationship happened in the month of Elul:

August 28, 2014: We met (3 Elul 5774)
September 17, 2014: Our first date (22 Elul 5774)
August 22, 2015: Our engagement (8 Elul 5775)
September 4, 2016: Our wedding!!!! (1 Elul 5776)

Depending on how you count sundown times, we may even be able to stretch and call our Hebrew anniversary 2 Elul -- that way, we'll be married on the two year anniversary of the day we first met! I mean, if the show started at 7pm in August, the sun was probably still out, no? 

It is said that Elul is an acronym for "Ani l'dodi v'dodi li" -- I am my beloved and my beloved is mine -- a verse from the Song of Songs. 

In Elul, as the #BlogElul project has demonstrated, we celebrate our ability to maintain our independence, individuality, and uniqueness. At the same time that we enter into relationships and recommit ourselves to those we love.

In Aramaic, the word Elul means "search." Elul is a time to search our hearts, to reflect on the past, and to look forward to the future.

Elul is also said to be an auspicious time for weddings. We anticipate the New Year ahead; a blank slate, just a couples bask in the newness of their lives together as husband and wife. 


Next Elul, Dan and I will begin that journey. 

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

BlogElul 10: Count


There is a technological device on the market that will hold you accountable for all of your actions and many of your decisions.

It knows when you are sleeping, it knows when you’re awake.

It’s called a Fitbit.

I jumped on the Fitbit bandwagon about two weeks ago. I resisted the trend for a while, thinking that I was already pretty active through my daily morning workouts and busy work schedule.  

But the Fitbit gave me a reality check, especially because I received it as a gift while visiting family in NYC for my birthday. In NYC, I easily surpassed the recommended 10,000 steps/day, sometimes reaching as high as 20 or 25,000 steps.

I was in for a rude awakening when I returned to Milwaukee, where I drive everywhere instead of walking and consistently climbing stairs in and out of subway stations. After a day that consisted of a 5:45 wakeup for an 8am flight followed by a full day at the office and a High Holy Day choir rehearsal, I had barely walked 7,000 steps by the time I returned home at 9:30pm.

In New York City, every step is with purpose. In Milwaukee, or another car-based city, you have to find a reason to move. 

I felt lazy. I felt useless. I had accomplished a lot during the day, but my Fitbit was telling me otherwise.

So what did I do? Never one to miss a goal – especially at the beginning of a new endeavor – I spent twenty minutes pacing my apartment to obtain the remaining 3,000 steps.

Don’t laugh. If you wear a Fitbit, you’ve done it too.

After about five minutes, I got bored. So I began making my steps count – even though the Fitbit was already doing that for me.

Instead of just pacing, I took a dust cloth and began cleaning my dresser. Then I picked up shoes, one by one, and put them back into the closet. I remembered the races we used to run in gym class as a kid that involved grabbing blocks one at a time before racing back across the gym to get another. In my race against myself, I used shoes, carrying each one individually to its proper spot in my shoe rack.

I can't believe I'm admitting this publicly. All I can say is that my apartment has never been cleaner!

Since getting my Fitbit, I no longer get angry when I can’t find a parking spot close to my destination. Instead, I get gleefully excited that I can get in more steps.

I have new incentive to get out of bed to workout each morning because it basically means that I get almost half of my daily steps in before 8am.

Even though the Fitbit is great at tracking many things like steps, physical activity, and sleep patterns, there are many things I still need to be accountable for. It won’t automatically calculate the amount of calories you eat – that’s something you have to be on the honor system for. If you cheat, you are only cheating yourself.

In addition, my Fitbit is often inaccurate when counting steps while on the elliptical, rollerblading, or biking. These are some of my favorite forms of exercise. To make them count I need to enter the activity manually.   

It is easy to go through the day-to-day motions of life without thinking. Having a Fitbit has added a new level of mindfulness for me. By taking care of some of the counting, it leaves room for me to figure out how to do the rest and to add meaning to every single moment.


May 5776 be a year of walking with much purpose – with or without a Fitbit.

BlogElul 8: Hear and BlogElul 9: See


I fell a bit behind on blogging this week because I was in New York, so I'm going to combine BlogElul  8 and 9 into one.

We can deeply appreciate our ability to hear and see by learning from the immortal words of Helen Keller, who could do neither. 

"I am just as deaf as I am blind. The problems of deafness are deeper and more complex, if not more important than those of blindness. Deafness is a much worse misfortune. For it means the loss of the most vital stimulus-- the sound of the voice that brings language, sets thoughts astir, and keeps us in the intellectual company of man."

"Blindness separates us from things but deafness separates us from people."

"Children who hear acquire language without any particular effort; the words that fall from others’ lips they catch on the wing, as it were, delightedly, while the little deaf child must trap them by a slow and often painful process. But whatever the process, the result is wonderful. Gradually from naming an object we advance step by step until we have traversed the vast distance between our first stammered syllable and the sweep of thought in a line of Shakespeare."

From this we learn about the importance of our actions, our words, our tone, and our language. In a day and age where so much of our communication takes place over e-mail and text, we are often deaf to true intention. We can see the words, but we can't hear how they are meant.

It is important to think about this as we prepare to forgive and be forgiven this High Holy Day season.

BlogElul 7: Be


In English, there is only one word for be.

In Spanish, the word for be changes depending on whether the state of being is permanent (ser) or temporary (estar). We always stay who we are at the core, but change positions, locations, conditions, and emotions. 

In Hebrew, there is no word for be in the present tense. We are automatically assumed to be present, to be here. Our state of being there for translates to who we are: Ani Lauren -- I am Lauren. Anachnu chaverim -- we are friends. We don't need to add a verb to be these things -- we just are. 

The Hebrew verb "L'hiyot" can be conjugated in the past and future tenses. To quote from Israeli songs, "Hayu Leilot" -- there were nights (by Mordechai Zeira) and "Yiyeh tov" -- it will be good (by David Broza). 

By learning from Hebrew and Spanish, we can practice the art of being present, accepting who we are, and knowing that life can change as a moment's notice. 

Friday, August 21, 2015

BlogElul 6: Know


This is a D'var Torah that I wrote last Passover. If you make it to the end, I have a very important question: 

Who knows 46???

***

There are two eagerly awaited traditions at my family’s Passover table. When we get to the point of the seder when we describe the symbols of the shankbone, the matzah, and the bitter herbs, my cousin Michael reenacts a story that my Grandpa Fred, of blessed memory, used to tell: “Why Matzah has Lines.” My grandfather would take a piece of Matzah, fold it in a napkin and sling it over his shoulder. “The Jews left so quickly, and they wrapped their dough in their rucksacks – and when they opened it up – it took on the lines of their sacks and became matzah! 

We learned something new this year that gave even deeper meaning to this seemingly silly ritual. My dad recently had dinner with my Great Uncle Murray down in Florida, and he asked him what our family’s seders were like back in the day. Turns out that my grandfather inherited this bit about the matzah from his own father, my great-grandfather Morris, who used to tell the exact same story! Incidentally, my cousin Michael is named for Morris – and thus the ritual comes full circle, L’dor Vador.

A final tradition comes at the very end of the seder. It is long-awaited by some; dreaded by others – and that is the singing of “Echad Mi-Yodeah” – “Who Knows One?” Maybe it’s because it’s late; maybe it’s because we’ve all had a few too many cups of wine – but we can never seem to get through this song unscathed. Each of us gets assigned a number, and we must always read this number wherever it appears in the song. But inevitably, someone gets distracted, or forgets, or just feels like purposely throwing things off to make things even more ridiculous – my cousin, jokingly, declared that “Five are the fingers on the hand” instead of the original lyric, “Five are the Books of the Torah.”

Even though we can’t keep the numbers straight as individuals, we have essentially memorized what each number represents, even the seemingly less obvious ones like “Six are the Order of the Mishnah” and “Eleven are the Stars in Joseph’s Dream.”

What does this song, which is modeled on a non-Jewish German folk melody from the 15th or 16th century, have to do with Passover anyway? And why do we sing it at the end of the seder?  Like the Four Questions, it’s a device for engaging the children in the seder ritual and overarching Jewish journey. The main theme of Passover, and particularly of the seder is not only the physical freedom of a nation of slaves. Each number represents an important step in our people’s history as well as our future. From the two tablets that we received at Mount Sinai, to our four matriarchs and three patriarchs, to the nine months leading up to the creation of new human life – we would be nothing without our numbers.

Numbers are particularly on our mind at the end of the second seder, which begins the counting of the Omer, which is the 50 days from the Exodus to Sinai – from Pesach – the harvest of barley – until Shavuot – the harvest of wheat. This is described in the Torah in Leviticus 23:15-16. Traditionally, the Rabbis interpret the counting as reflecting Israel’s eager anticipation of the giving of Torah at Sinai on Shavuot. As it reads in the Conservative Movement’s Siddur Sim Shalom: “As we often count the days leading to significant events in our personal lives, so we count such days in the life of our people, times past and present, culminating in this instance with the revelation of Torah, essential for our spiritual sustenance. We also call to mind the close connection with the soil of the Land during centuries past, as well as in modern Israel. We recount the gratitude of times past, and we articulate our own gratitude, for the harvest of grain through which God renews life each year."

It’s possible that the mnemonic counting song of “Echad Mi Yodea” helped to transition us into this period where we focus so intently on numbers. As I flew from LGA back to Milwaukee this morning, I refined this connection between Echad Mi Yodea and the Omer. In doing so, I challenged myself to extend the song to incorporate each number that we count during this time period. And I succeeded – except for one number, which I’ll challenge you to help figure out for me.

Since the purpose of freedom is not simply freedom from servitude but freedom to devote ourselves to God’s purposes, I looked towards creating associations with each day of the Omer that would resonate with us in modern times. I wanted these additional numbers to reflect both Jewish history and our future as we perpetuate and add to our rich traditions.

Associating themes with the omer numbers is not an entirely new concept. The Kabbalists have specific emotions and messages allocated for each day, including kindness and wisdom. But these numbers seemed kind of arbitrary. I wanted a more tangible relationship with the numbers. And so – I present to you – a continuation of Echad Mi Yodea, Omer-style: 

14: Fourteen are the steps of the Passover seder
15: Fifteen is the date of the month when the full moon occurs.  
16: Is the year of Confirmation, or Affirmation, where our young Jewish adults commit to lifelong Jewish learning.  
17 – is the day of the fast of Tammuz, which commemorates the day the walls of Jerusalem were breeched leading up to the destruction of the second temple. 
18 – the Gematria for Chai, the Hebrew word for life – a symbol of good luck.
19 – are the blessings in the weekday Amidah
20 – is the chapter of Exodus that contains the Ten Commandments
21 – is the age you must be to legally drink Maneshewitz
22 – are the letters in the Hebrew Alphabet
23 – are the number of judges needed to carry out a trial for capital punishment in Judaism.
24 – the total number of Books in the Tanakh, or the hours in a day.
25 – is the date in the Month of Kislev Chanukah begins, or the hours we observe Shabbat.
26 – the Gematria value of YHWH, one of ways God’s name appears in the Bible.
27 – Is the date in Nisan of Yom Hashoa – this year, it happens on the eve of April 27
28 – Is the frequency of years that we say Birkat Hachama, the rare blessing of the sun, which is said each time the sun returns to its supposed position at creation – every 28 years.  
29 – Are the days in some months in the Hebrew calendar
30 – Are the days of Sheloshim, the secondary period of mourning after shiva.
31 – The number of Canaanite kings conquered by Joshua, or the Gematria value of G-d’s name, El.
32 – is the number Jewish baseball hero Sandy Koufax wore
33 – Is the day of Lag b’Omer – a mystical celebration on the day in which Rabbi Akiva’s students stopped dying from a horrific plague.
34 – Is the chapters in the Book of Deuteronomy
35 – was the twentieth century year in which the anti-Semitic Nuremberg Laws were established.
36 – is for the lamed vavniks, the 36 righteous people in each generation that the Talmud declares to be deserving of greeting the Shechinah.
37 – the nineteenth century year that marked the first printing of a Haggadah in America
38 – is the twentieth century year of Kristallnacht, the night of Broken Glass, or the age Daniel Pearl was when he was murdered by Al Qaeda.
39 – is the twentieth century year in which Irving Berlin wrote God Bless America
40 – is the number of years the Jews wandered in the desert.
41 – is the day that life began after Noah survived the flood
42 – is the number of lines written in each column of a Torah scroll
43 – is the twentieth century year of the Warsaw ghetto uprising
44 – is the total number of candles lit during Chanukah
45 – is the twentieth century year in which Auschwitz was liberated
46 – HELP!
47 – is the twentieth century year in which the Dead Sea Scrolls were first discovered at Qumran by a Bedouin boy
48 – is the twentieth century year in which Israel became a state
49 – the number of nights of counting the Omer
50 – is the day when we received Mattan torah – our gift of the Torah.